


Just Kiss and Get It Over With

by Rinienne



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-01
Updated: 2013-11-01
Packaged: 2017-12-31 02:56:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1026436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rinienne/pseuds/Rinienne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Shepard chose wrong people to tease.</i><br/>Just a little dialogue alternation between Jack, Miranda and Shepard from the Citadel DLC. M for Jack asking very personal questions about Shepard's sex life and language.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Kiss and Get It Over With

Shepard's eyes moved from Jack to Miranda and stopped; a smile spreading over his face made his expression look smug and mischievous. Miranda had known him for a long time now, she'd seen him smile before. She had also seen him tipsy before, but only now she was given an opportunity to see him smile while tipsy. It looked outright ridiculous on his usually serious face.

"What?" Shepard said shrugging his shoulders, "this is all about sexual tension, right? Two powerful biotics, strong personalities, confident in their sexualities..."

A silence hung for a moment in the room, interrupted only by a cheerful beat of the music coming from the main area of the apartment. Miranda opened her mouth looking at the commander in a dumb shock, not even blinking.

Jack regained her ability to speak first: "you are shitting me, right?" she asked, "gross, just gross!" She straightened her back, picking her glass of liquor from the table and making a sip.

"That's just so wrong," Miranda shook her head, then hummed thoughtfully. "Tho, I see you and Major Alenko managed to kiss and get it over with," she smirked, quoting Shepard's own words.

She still remembered their short meeting on Horizon, remembered how miserable Shepard looked afterwards. It was somewhat a surprise to see Kaidan here, after that incident. It was even more surprising to see the two of them _that_ friendly with each other.

Of course, they didn't make any grand announcements and tried to behave like nothing was going on, but only a blind could miss little things like touches, coy smiles, and various other gestures between the pair. Well, if Shepard squeezing Kaidan's ass, while he thought no-one could see them, could've been called a little thing.

"In fact, we did," Shepard replied, the smile on his face widened even further, but it was a sudden glee in Jack's eyes what caught Miranda's attention.

"Wait, you and that hot biotic guy?" Jack raised an eyebrow.

"Uh-um," Shepard nodded.

Jack chuckled and then it was her turn to grin wide. "So, which one of you is the bottom?" she asked.

It looked like someone poured a bucket of cold water over Shepard. The smile disappeared from his face, his eyes widened and a heavy layer of blush spread over his cheeks. Miranda had never seen that man blush, so the image seemed a little surreal. "That's... quite a personal question," the commander managed after a short pause.

"Oh really," Jack smirked, "not only you invited me here, knowing the cheerleader was going to show up, you also started to make fun of us. And notice, that I haven't murdered anyone yet! You at least owe me that much for the effort."

Shepard blinked once, moving his eyes from Jack to Miranda, like he was trying to find at least some support there. Well, Miranda decided, he wasn't going to find any. "I am kinda curious myself," she smiled wolfishly.

Actually, she wasn't. At least not that much. Granted, she didn't mind a mental image of two hot guys having sex, but it wasn't just a hot guy. It was Shepard. On another hand, it was his fault he came here to make an ass out of them with stupid propositions, so she decided to play along.

"Umm, ladies," Shepard coughed, "you know that most of the times in a two-guys relationship, neither of them are only top or only bottom."

Miranda sighed. Even while being drunk, Shepard managed to find a diplomatic solution, to explain his own relationship, without actually talking about himself. It looked like he really won that round.

The moment Miranda thought about it, Jack opened her mouth again. "Oh, really?” she said, grinning the entire time,  “so you want to say, that the great Commander Shepard _did_ end up at least once being fucked into the mattress. Pressed face first into a pillow, ass raised up into the air," she said, "shit, I'm all hot and bothered now."

Shepard's earlier shade of face started to seem pale in comparison to how red it became now. He turned his eyes away from the two of them, down to his glass. "Umm," he said uncertain, "that... that," he mumbled starting to move away from the bar counter towards the main area of the apartment, "nothing wrong with that, is there?" he exhaled almost too quiet to hear, before disappearing out of the view.

Miranda watched him go, before turning her attention back to Jack who shrugged her shoulders, smiling wide in victory.

"Jack - one, Shepard - zero," she murmured content.

"You little shit," Miranda shook her head, not able to suppress another chuckle.

Jack opened her mouth to reply, but Shepard's head chose that moment to reappear from behind the door frame. "You know," Shepard's head said, "I just wanted to make sure you won't think too much, about which surfaces in the house I was pressed against face first. Just not to disturb your state of mental health, 'k?"

And with that, Shepard's head disappeared again.The two biotics watched the empty space where the commander just had stood, before turning back to look at one another.

"Son of a bitch!" Jack groaned, smaking the bottom of her glass against the bar counter. "I need another drink now."

Miranda glanced over the other biotic and suddenly found herself not able to suppress a laugher. She laughed so hard, that tears appeared in her eyes. She couldn't even remember when was she was able to do it so openly. It felt good. In a moment, Miranda realized, that Jack joined her and now was laughing too.

 


End file.
